Monthly Archive for April, 2009

How to Watch: “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”

Published on April 30, 2009 in Movies. 0 Comments Tags: , .

X-Men Origins: WolverineStep 1: Ask the question: Could the Wolverine story be getting a little tired at this point, even though Hugh Jackman still looks good with mutton chops?

Step 2: Answer the question: Possibly. Despite some cool action sequences, X-Men Origins: Wolverine seems like a retread; there’s nothing new and different in this X-Men realm.

Step 3: Think about X2 and how tortured Wolverine is in it, dealing with the evil William Stryker (Brian Cox) and trying to figure out his past. Do we really need a whole movie to explain how James Logan, aka Wolverine, grew up as a mutant with his brother, Victor Creed, aka Sabretooth (Liev Schreiber) – fighting in every major war from the Civil War through the Vietnam War and then finally joining a team of mercenaries in the late ’60s? How Logan came to hate killing people, while Victor learned to crave it? How Logan eventually has to succumb to the younger Stryker (Danny Huston) and his experiments to turn Logan into the indestructible Wolverine with metal bone structure so he can exact revenge on his brother Sabretooth after he seemingly kills his girlfriend? No, on all accounts. The mysteries behind Wolverine’s back story could have been left at just that – a mystery, or at least just a flashback.

Step 4: Don’t blame Hugh Jackman. He is still terribly charismatic as Wolverine and has really made that character his own. Don’t blame Schreiber either, who embraces his animalistic tendencies. Instead, blame Huston, who overplays it and the fact we meet a bunch of other cool mutants but never really get to know any of them. Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, is particularly intriguing but gone in a flash.

Step 5: Try a different director next time. Don’t get me wrong – South African Gavin Hood is great at depicting hard life in his home country, as he did with the Oscar-winning Tsotsi. But he’s no Bryan Singer (who directed the first two X-Men) and doesn’t really have a handle on the X-Men nuances. Wolverine is way too paint by the numbers.

Step 6: If you want an X-Men Origin story, then do one on Magneto; the whole Holocaust scenario is bound to be more compelling (one is apparently in the works).

Level of difficulty watching Wolverine: Moderate to Hard; there’s just not enough substance to this X-Men story to make it worthwhile.

How to Get Hungry

Published on April 30, 2009 in Movies. 0 Comments Tags: .

Watch movies about food or films that have scenes with really good food cooking in them. Mmmm, I’m just thinking about that scene in Goodfellas, in which the guys in prison are making spaghetti sauce and slicing the garlic with a razor blade. Man, that scene really made me  crave spaghetti with heaps of meat sauce.

The latest culinary treat to hit the big screen is Julie and Julia, opening Aug. 7. It stars Amy Adams and Meryl Streep and is based on the real-life adventures of Julie Powell (Adams), who cooked her way through Child’s (Streep) best-selling cookbook Mastering the Art of French Cooking for one year and blogged about it. Here’s the trailer:

This is something my mother should do, since she LOVES to cook. I’ve been telling her to do a recipe blog for years now. Let’s think of some other great movies centered around food:

Babette’s Feast : A lovely Dutch/Danish film about a famous 19th century French chef, who, after some tragedy befalls her, ends up living with two spinster ladies in a remote seaside village and cooking for them. The sisters don’t know how good a cook she is, but when the chef wins the lottery and decides to make a traditional French feast for them and their friends, they start to get the idea. It’s one fffing amazing meal.

Like Water for Chocolate: Another lovely film, this time from Mexico, about a young woman torn from the man she loves by her family, who then literally pours her emotions into the food she cooks.

Ratatouille: OK, granted, it’s animated food, but it still looks really good — especially prepared by a rat with a certain flair for culinary delights!

Chocolat: For the chocolate lovers in us all, this tale is about a chocolate shop owner and her daughter, who literally blow into a small French town and end up changing the lives of its denizens with her sweet treats. Yummy.

I know there’s a ton more, so let me know some of your favorites. Just register on the site and leave your comments!

How to Cast: Russell Brand

Published on April 28, 2009 in Casting. 0 Comments

Verrry carefully. Anything can happen when you cast this British comedic live wire, so you best find something that suits his extremely quirky sensibilities. For instance, here he is behaving badly after his Late Night with Jimmy Fallon stint:

I still don’t get the hair, but I first took notice of Brand after his scene-stealing moments in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. He chewed up the scenery like a pro as the wild British rock star who woos away young Sarah (Kristen Bell) from sad-sack Peter (Jason Segel).

Now, according to Cinematical, he has the chance to do some more chewing by possibly starring in a remake of the really bad but cult-ish comedy Drop Dead Fred. The 1991 original starred another wacky Brit named Rik Mayall, playing a destructive imaginary childhood friend who comes back to haunt his maker as an adult, the lovely Phoebe Cates. Wonder whatever happened to her? She quit acting, married Kevin Kline and had a few kids. I remember wanting to be her when she was Seventeen magazine’s top model. But I digress …

I guess this Fred will be more in the “tone of Beetlejuice, building a universe around the concept of imaginary friends.” That sounds more Brand’s style, and I suppose remaking a movie that may only be golden in a few people’s hearts is better than say, remaking Beetlejuice itself. Speaking of that, I miss Michael Keaton – but I digress …

In other casting news: Benicio Del Toro could do comedy, dark as it may be, starring in Lunar Park, an adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis semi-autobiographical novel. Cinematical calls it a “mix between fact and fiction, taking nibbles from Ellis’ early fame (drug use, Glamorama book tours), and then morphing it into ghost story as he moves into a haunted house in a fictional New York City suburb.” One thing is for sure – Del Toro never does anything boring.

And speaking of books, Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels is getting modernized, with Jack Black playing Lemuel Gulliver, a travel writer who inadvertently gets stuck on the secret island of Lilliput, with its industrious community of little people. Jack can totally pull this off, but can the little people really pin him down?

Finally, Michael Douglas and Oliver Stone are going to update Wall Street‘s Gordon Gekko – for real. In this case, I’m afraid greed will NOT be good. UPDATE: The sequel is tentatively titled Money Never Sleeps and might also star Shia LaBeouf as a young buck trader. Still doesn’t sound any better.

How to Calm the Swine Flu Panic

Published on April 27, 2009 in Movies. 0 Comments Tags: .

Watch movies about massive pandemic outbreaks, of course. You know, just to get your mind off of it. Some of my favs? The Andromeda Strain, Outbreak (gotta love the monkey) and Stephen King’s The Stand. The book is really the best way to experience the horror of the Superflu or Captain Trips, as King lovingly refers to it, but the 1994 TV mini-series doesn’t do a bad job visualizing it for us:

Oh, and maybe also wash your hands a lot for awhile.

How to Have MORE Fun at the “Museum”

Published on April 27, 2009 in Movies and Trailers. 0 Comments Tags: .

Get Ben Stiller to make a sequel to the first Night at the Musuem, sending his security guard character Larry Daley to the Washington D.C. Smithsonian with the Egyptian tablet that makes everything come to life at night. THAT’S how you’ll have more fun!

I really liked the first Night at the Museum, surprisingly so. The idea of mixing Ben Stiller and family comedy up to that point didn’t seem like a great idea, but the whole-museum-exhibits-coming-to-life idea paid off big time. Having the likes of Owen Wilson, Robin Williams, Ricky Gervais and Steve Coogan helped. Of course, they have to up the ante in the sequel by getting even more funny guys, but I think Bill Hader as General Custer is a minor stroke of genius, as is Amy Adams as Amelia Earhart. And then there’s Abraham Lincoln … Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian looks like a hoot.

How Beyonce Kicked-Ass at the Box Office

Published on April 26, 2009 in Movies. 0 Comments Tags: .

Obsessed

By getting into one hell of a catfight with Heroes star Ali Larter is my guess. Their new flick Obsessed — a Fatal Attraction-esque smackdown between the wife (Beyonce) and the psycho temptress (Larter) after said psycho has a fling with the hubby (Idris Elba) and comes after the family — won the box office this weekend with $28 million. Surprising? Maybe a little. The film didn’t pre-screen for critics, but those who did venture out to review it didn’t like it much. For example, Cinematical’s Scott Weinberg says:

Too “safe” to be a provocative thriller or an incendiary drama, and it’s way too flat and sedate to qualify as a movie bad enough to mock.

Ouch. Or this quote from Entertainment Weekly‘s Owen Gleiberman:

It’s doubtful that Obsessed will stick in the popular imagination for more than two weeks, because the movie is borderline ludicrous, and it jams its characters into rigid slots.

Yes, well, never underestimate a good climactic fight scene in which the wife gets to beat the crap out of the other woman. I mean, there’s  some major anger management therapy going on, and I bet there were more than a few women in the theaters rooting Beyonce on. Here she is talking about it on Access Hollywood:

You go ahead and head butt that beyotch, girl!

How to Titillate a Trekkie

Published on April 25, 2009 in Movies. 0 Comments Tags: .

Five words, really: the new Star Trek movie. It opens in theaters May 8, and  Trekkie or not,  the prequel is getting some serious momentum. I predict it’s going to the be biggest movie of the summer (besides maybe Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince).

Of course, I’M a Trekkie from way back. Watching the reruns of the original show as a kid, I got so into it. There was one episode (“The Man Trap”) in which McCoy finds an old flame living on this planet as a scientist or something. Except she really isn’t a human at all but a monster who can shape shift and suck the salt out of you until you die (they didn’t call it shape shifting back then, but that’s what we are talking about).  I had nightmares for WEEKS, seeing that monster’s face in the corner of my room! Now, of course, it’s cool. You can actually watch the whole episode on CBS’s archive site.

Anyway, for me, making a movie about how Kirk, McCoy, Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Scottie and Chekov all meet and become the icons they are destined to be is just too good an idea to pass up, especially if it’s being directed by Lost, Alias and Fringe creator J.J. Abrams. No doubt he’ll be delivering some beam-me-up, set-phaser-on-kill action. I can’t WAIT.

And if you are someone with a sense of humor about your Trekkie geekdom-ness, then you’ll also appreciate this spoof from Will Ferrell and the folks at FunnyOrDie.com. Enjoy!

How to Watch: “Fighting”

Published on April 23, 2009 in Movies. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Step 1: If you need an actor to look good in an underground street fight, hire Channing Tatum.

Step 2: If you need an actor to provide some SERIOUS eye candy, also hire Channing Tatum.

Step 3: Once you’ve got the boy, watch how he plays Shawn MacArthur, a transplanted Southerner just barely making ends meet in New York City. Then he meets Harvey (Terrence Howard), a street hustler who sees some potential in Shawn’s natural fisticuff abilities. One successful underground street fight later, Shawn and Harvey join the circuit – and begin a beautiful relationship.

Step 4: Start to wonder what is happening to Terrence Howard. He seems to be turning in the same performance over and over. And this time, as Harvey, he adopts some sort of high-pitched cadence to his voice. Very annoying.

Step 5: Refer to Step 2. Tatum looks goooood . He does, actually, have some natural talent as an actor – there is an ease about him in front of the cameras. But wow, he is ridiculously gorgeous. You get a little tingly watching Shawn woo a cocktail waitress (Zulay Henao) AND smooth things over with her overprotective Spanish grandmother. Would have been nice to see him dance again, but it’s OK. Settle for the Fight Club action instead.

Step 6: Realize you miss Fight Club. Somehow watching two dudes beat the hell out of one another just makes you pine for Brad Pitt and Edward Norton beating the hell out of one another. First-time director Dino Montiel does a pretty good job handling the street fights, but Fighting still falls into a predictable melting pot.

Level of difficulty watching Fighting: Moderate; action scenes are exciting but the film is too pat for my tastes.
Level of difficulty watching Channing Tatum: Extraordinarily easy.

How to Get the Next “Twilight” Directing Gig

Published on April 22, 2009 in Movies. 0 Comments Tags: .

Direct a really scary vampire flick and a disturbing little drama about Internet predators, that’s what you do. Having crossed off Drew Barrymore’s name from the list, Cinematical reports the powers behind the Twilight franchise have handed the third movie, Eclipse, over to David Slade, the filmmaker who gave us 30 Days of Night and Hard Candy. OK, I get the vampire bit, although I’m sure the Cullen family won’t be ripping apart all the humans they can find, leaving them bleeding all over the nice, clean snow. That’s a 30 Days of Night image I’d like to forget.

And Bella probably won’t be tying Edward up, threatening to cut off his private parts, as in Hard Candy.

No, I’m sure Slade will handle the continuing tween vampire romance with a delicate hand — but I am curious to see what he does with the subject matter. Maybe just a little blood?

How to Cast: Vanessa Hudgens

Published on April 22, 2009 in Casting. 0 Comments

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEARJust call her Belle. High School Musical‘s girl-next-door Vanessa Hudgens is set to star in a modern-day Beauty and the Beast, aptly titled Beastly. Why? Because it makes perfect sense. According to Variety, the film, based on Alex Flinn’s fantasy novel, is about a vain 17-year-old who learns some hard lessons when he’s turned into a hideous beast and must find true love to become human again. Don’t we all.

Funny thing is, Hudgens is also starring in Watchmen director Zack Synder’s next flick, Sucker Punch – a film that sounds entirely different from any of the cutesy crap she’s been doing. It’s about a girl held against her will in a mental institution by her nasty stepdad and is days away from being lobotomized. She escapes her horrible existence but imaging an alternate universe in which she’s the leader of a gang of kick-ass gals on a quest. Not sure if Hudgens is the girl or just one of the other inmates, but I’m kinda jazzed about this one. Also starring is Jamie Chung, Jena Malone, Emily Browning and Abbie Cornish.

In other casting news: Cinematical tells us Angelina Jolie’s looking for a new movie franchise, playing popular author Patricia Cornwell’s heroine Dr. Kay Scarpetta, a cool, sophisticated and beautiful medical examiner who solves any number of gruesome murders. Sounds a whole lot better than Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, I can tell you that.

And Variety reports Cameron Diaz is eyeing a comedy called Bobbie Sue about an up and coming ambitious lawyer who gets her big chance when a prestigious law firm hires her to defend a powerful client accused of sexual discrimination. That’s funny how exactly? More like Cameron trying to do Legally Blonde 3. “Biiiiitch pleeze!”