How to Watch: “The Book of Eli”

Step 1: Don’t sugar-coat it, Hughes brothers. Tell us how you really feel about spreading the Word after the world’s been blown up by nuclear war. Let’s just say, this adrenaline-fueled cross between The Road Warrior and The Ten Commandments gets a tad heavy-handed at times.

Step 2: If you must go with faith, then get Denzel Washington to play your kick-ass prophet. The Book of Eli looks at a post-apocalyptic world in dire need of salvation. Washington plays Eli, a survivor of the horrible war, who 30 years later, has been trekking West with a sacred book in his possession. He is on a path, as it were, and those who might stand in his way suffer his great wrath, as he smites them mightily with his big-ass machete. Trust me, the ones who are unfortunately on the sharp end of the stick deserve what they get, because this bleak landscape breeds lawless, cannibalistic bad guys. Washington looks good as the action hero again, kind of on par with his turn in Man on Fire, adding gravitas to whatever action unfolds. He’s just one cool dude on a mission.

Step 3: Then hire Gary Oldman to play your false prophet. The actor does a villain like it’s nobody’s business, and in Eli, he’s Carnegie, the leader of a small, makeshift town in the desert, desperate to get his hands on this precious book. He remembers it’s power, and he feels if he can read from it, he will be able to control the rest of the townsfolk with it, as well as other towns, too. So when Eli shows up in the town, carrying the very thing Carnegie has been searching for … well, he’s pleased. Of course, it’ll be over Eli’s cold dead body before he gives it up, something Carnegie would be happy to arrange if it weren’t for the fact Eli escapes – with the town’s lovely bartender Solara (Milas Kunis) in tow. She has only known life after the war, and Eli intrigues her; she wants to learn from Eli and read his book. I’m hoping at this point, you know what the “book” is.

Step 4: Cast other people, too. Jennifer Beals as a blind woman, trapped by Carnegie; Ray Stevenson as Carnegie’s main henchman; Malcolm McDowell, Tom Waits and Harry Potter alums Michael Gambon and Frances de la Tour in well-placed cameos. Only Kunis seems out of place in this serious action milieu. She’s much better suited for Forgetting Sarah Marshall-type comedy, and unfortunately distracting here.

Step 5: Follow along with the Hughes vision. Book of Eli is the first film the brothers, Albert and Allen, have directed together since their 2001 From Hell. Their talent remains obvious, with Eli‘s black, white – and some splashes of color – aptly conveying the mass destruction. And they certainly understand what it takes to make a compelling blood-and-guts actioner, especially with Denzel at their disposal. Screenwriter Gary Whitta also kicks it old school with the end of the world simply being a nuclear war – you know, rather than global warming or plague or whatever.  Oh, and apparently, cats, birds and roaches are about the only animals that have survived. Poor cats – they get the raw end of the deal once again. I guess my main qualm is the juxtaposition of all the action with this deep religious message. With something like Book of Eli, the two just don’t seem to fit together as well, so by the time you get to the end’s twist – and there is one – it falls a bit flat instead of being inspired, as I’m sure they intended it to be.

Level of difficulty in watching The Book of Eli: For most of it, you’re gripping your seat. Then you’re scratching your head.