How to Watch: “Battle: Los Angeles”

Step 1: Battle: Los Angeles is only a mediocre addition to the alien invasion genre.

Step 2: Poor L.A. It’s always getting beaten up either by weather anomalies (Day After Tomorrow), giant meteors (Deep Impact), the Mayan doomsday calendar (2012) – and yes, many alien invasions staking their claim on the City of Angels. Maybe L.A. is always a target in disaster films because, well, this is where films are made, so there’s an affinity. Now count Battle: Los Angeles as one of them.

Step 3: Typical wartime scenario. You know, I was a little disappointed there was never a shot of surfers in the water watching the spaceships drop from the sky into the ocean, like in the poster. Instead, the film starts off introducing a bunch of U.S. Marines who will go on to save the day. There’s SSgt. Michael Nantz (Aaron Eckhart) who has seen some hard combat in his 20 years and is ready to retire. There’s 2nd Lt. William Martinez (Ramon Rodriguez) who is expecting a baby, has just graduated from officer training and is ready to lead a team. There’s also your garden variety of stereotypical soldiers from the innocent newbie who might as well be wearing a red shirt to the bitter corporal who has it in for Nantz to the kick-ass chick soldier, who is, of course, played by Michelle Rodriguez.

Step 4: Here they come. The TV is blaring reports that a cluster of “meteors” are headed to Earth and that people on the coastline should evacuate. Then as they seemingly crash into the ocean, it’s becomes very clear, very quickly these ain’t no meteors but rather an alien force, intent on taking over our planet by using our water to fuel their machines. Nantz, Martinez and the rest of the unit are sent in, behind the enemy lines, to rescue some civilians caught there — and the film is off and running as the Marines encounter the “hostiles” and try to figure out the best way to kill them while making it back to safety.

Step 5: Find the star. Most of the actors are somewhat recognizable but instantly forgettable, except for Eckhart, who has the biggest profile. He growls a lot and says things like, “Don’t you give up on me! We are going to make it!” You know, the typical war mumbo jumbo. Michael Pena and Bridget Moynahan play the civilians, trapped with kids in their care so there’s THAT element to it as well. Seriously, every banal war/disaster trick in the book is at play in Battle: Los Angeles.

Step 6: The real draw is the action, not the actors. Helmed by Jonathan Liebesman, whose only other claim to fame is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, the camera takes on that documentary, Black Hawk Down quality, shaky as the soldiers run in and out of buildings and houses. There are a few  intense and worthy action sequences, I will give you that, particularly one on a demolished freeway ramp. And the aliens are sort of a cross between the ones in Independence Day and Predator, making weird sounds so you know they are coming. But ultimately, Battle: Los Angeles just doesn’t offer anything fresh or inventive in this nearly saturated genre. In fact, it made me want to see District 9 again.