Step 1: Why fix it if it ain’t broke? Disney likes their formulas, and they’ve found one with Dwayne Johnson and family flicks. His latest, Tooth Fairy, shows all the familiar patterns – or, as I like to call it, The Tooth Fairy’s Game Plan to Race to Witch Mountain.
Step 2: Go down the list: Johnson as another hard-ass, selfish bachelor who isn’t very good with kids. Check. Johnson as another jock. Check. Johnson as a fish out of water when kid stuff is forced on him. Check. Johnson as the Tooth Fairy. OK, that’s something new. He plays Derek, a once great NHL hockey player, who now skates in the minors because of an old injury. That’s OK, because his moniker “The Tooth Fairy” has made him famous because he can knock guys’ teeth out with one body slam. He also likes to regularly crush the dreams of the youngsters who look up to him. As a final straw, he tells the 5-year-old daughter of his girlfriend (Ashley Judd), after she loses a tooth, that there is no Tooth Fairy. Soon, he gets a summons to report to Fairyland, where he is promptly sentenced to two weeks as a REAL Tooth Fairy, courtesy of the grand fairy duchess (Julie Andrews). His case worker Tracy (Stephen Merchant) tries to explain the rules and regs of Tooth Fairy-ing, but Derek has a hard time catching on – until he doesn’t. Johnson learns another lesson about following one’s dreams and the importance of family. Check.
Step 3: Johnson as the new W.C. Fields. Check. The actor proves he can do this curmudgeon character with his eyes closed, so why stretch himself when he knows the films will make loads of money? Except, if Tooth Fairy fails this time, he might want to rethink the strategy. Johnson’s participation doesn’t surprise me, but some of the others do, including British writer/actor Stephen Merchant, who created the British version of The Office with his good friend Ricky Gervais. The tall, skinny, bug-eyed funnyman is an obvious Laurel to The Rock’s buffed-out Hardy, but one wonders why Merchant signed on. Actually, I’m glad he did because he’s definitely one of the bright spots. As is the uncredited Billy Crystal, as the “Q”-type fairy with all the gadgets to make collecting teeth as easy as possible. Nice to see his old mug again. And indie darling Ashley Judd wasted playing a loving single mom in a Disney family comedy? She must have needed the money.
Level of difficulty in watching Tooth Fairy: Eh – but I’m the adult. Even if it’s the same old, same old, kids will probably get a kick out of seeing The Rock with fairy wings and in a pink tutu.