As a Focker, of course. The lovely Ms. Jessica is in negotiations to play a hottie in the upcoming tri-quel Little Fockers. Big stretch, I know. According to the Hollywood Reporter, she’s in line to play a comely pharmaceutical rep who messes with the males in the film, including Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro. The film picks up where 2004’s Meet the Fockers left off, with Stiller’s Gaylord Focker and Teri Polo’s Pamela Byrnes becoming parents. And Jessica Alba seducing and giving them drugs. I guess.

In other movie news: As if Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t have enough to do. Variety reports, he’s signed up for yet another project, The Deep Blue Goodbye, an adaptation of the John D. MacDonald mystery novel series. DiCaprio plays Travis McGee, a self-described beach bum, who lives aboard the 52-foot houseboat called The Busted Flush in sun-drenched Florida and makes a living as a “salvage consultant” – i.e. recovering property for clients and raking them for a ton of cash. Plus, he gets into a lot of danger and has flings with beautiful women. OK, I get why DiCaprio would want to do this; he looks good with a tan.

Hugh Jackman may be stepping into the ring – but not necessarily to fight. He’s in talks to star in Real Steel, and this is the synopsis, according to Variety: “Pic is a Rocky-esque tale of a fighter who has to reinvent himself when human boxing becomes obsolete, replaced by 2000 pound human-like robots. An ex-fighter (Jackman) becomes a Robot Boxing promoter whose chances of success are hampered by his access to sub-standard robot parts. That is until he discovers a discarded robot that always seems to win. The ex-fighter has also discovered he’s the father of a 13-year old son, and they bond as the robot brawls its way toward the top.” Clearly, they are being serious about that synopsis. I’m sitting here, incredulous, with my mouth open.

And finally, a little werewolf love. What, you don’t think vampires have the market on supernatural teen romance, do you? Maggie Stiefvater’s new novel Shiver has been optioned for a film and is a story about a “bittersweet paranormal romance” between a young girl and her teen werewolf boyfriend. She was saved by him from a pack of wolves as a child and now, as teens, they are in love – except he’s maturing into full wolfhood, and she’s desperate to keep him human. I’m getting tired of vampires and werewolves. We need to find a NEW supernatural entity for teen girls to make romance with. A hunky centaur, perhaps?

As Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes’ nemesis, perhaps? Apparently, the discussion is on the table, as the producers are already readying a sequel to the upcoming Robert Downey Jr./Jude Law actioner Sherlock Holmes. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the cast – and possibly director Guy Ritchie – will most likely all be on board, and now they’ve have asked Pitt if he’d be interested in playing the criminal mastermind. Hmmm, I could see some symmetry to that. Let’s just see how much money Holmes makes when it opens Christmas Day (I’m kinda betting it’ll be a hit).

In other movie news: Will Archie, Veronica and Jughead get their big-screen debut? According to Variety, the Archie Comics Publications and CAA two companies have signed a deal in the hopes of creating film and television franchises. I actually wondered out loud awhile ago why they hadn’t done a live-action version of the Archie comics yet. I mean, if they can do Scooby-Doo movie, an Archie and the gang movie shouldn’t be that difficult.

Bryan Singer is going to direct an updated Jack and the Beanstalk adaptation INSTEAD of doing an Excalibur remake. Whew. The story centers on a young farmer named Jack, who is given the task to lead an expedition to the giants’ kingdom in the hopes of rescuing a kidnapped princess. Variety reports Singer is taking over after D.J. Caruso’s departure and will give it a more mature rendering, a la Lord of the Rings.

Vampire love isn’t the only thing Stephanie Meyer is interested in. Oh no. She also has a thing for body-snatching aliens. Along with the Twilight series, the best-selling author also has created The Host, which tells the story of an alien race whose souls have taken over the planet, inserting themselves into their human hosts by erasing their minds and taking over. There’s one stubborn girl, however, who isn’t relinquishing her mind so easily and actually infuses her thoughts into her alien snatcher, thus driving her “Wanderer” into searching for “the last pocket of surviving humans on Earth.” Variety reports the screen rights to Meyer’s novel have been bought, and Andrew Niccol (Gattaca, The Truman Show) has been enlisted to write and direct the feature. Color me intrigued.

Diane Lane, Dylan Walsh, John Malkovich and Scott Glenn are riding Secretariat to the movie theaters. Yes, it’ll be a movie about THE horse that won the 1973 Triple Crown and the people surrounding the animal who made it happen, including: Lane as the horse’s owner Penny Tweedy, the housewife who became one of the first women to enter into the male-dominated world of horse racing; Walsh as Penny’s husband, a lawyer who didn’t like his wife’s newfound power; Malkovich as the charismatic trainer who underestimated the power of Secretariat; and Glenn as a southern-bred aristocrat who loses the horse in a coin toss. Well thank goodness we have another horse movie; it’s been awhile since Seabiscuit.