Monthly Archives: March 2011

Reviews

How to Watch: “Sucker Punch”

Step 1: Take a look. The uber-stylistic, action-packed Sucker Punch definitely titillates the ocular senses. I mean, it’s some bad-ass eye candy, no question about it.

Step 2: Try not to have high expectations. This isn’t the kind of film you go see if you want zippy dialogue or a thoughtful drama. It isn’t about great characterizations or a linear story. Sucker Punch does just that – KABAM POW! The story centers on Baby Doll (Emily Browning), a young woman who loses her mother and her baby sister in one fell swoop, and is left with an evil stepfather who has her committed to a mental institution for the criminally insane. This all happens very quickly so we can get to the action. Once there, she meets other young women in similar circumstances — including Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish) and her sister Rocket (Jena Malone), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and Amber (Jamie Chung). The conditions are rough, of course, with leering guards and abusive orderlies, but there is one kindly doctor (Carla Gugino), who urges the girls to create fantasy worlds in order to help them cope. And boy, do they take this to heart.

Step 3: Here’s where the movie gets a little hard to figure out. Baby Doll arrives at the institution, she sees it at it really is, horrible, but suddenly the surroundings change when the camera zeroes in on Sweet Pea, having a moment onstage in the “break room.” Now, the hospital has turned into a speakeasy of sorts, with all the girls glammed up and forced to be “dancers” in this new milieu, so this guy named Blue (Oscar Isaac) can make money. The girls are indenture servants, so to speak, and while it’s not ideal, they make the most of it. They don’t really like Baby Doll much, at first, but soon she gains their trust when she comes up with a plan to escape. Then things get even weirder when Babydoll starts to dance, going into a semi-trance and transporting herself and the other girls into one stylistic, seriously kick-ass action sequence after another, trying to find certain objects that will help them in their quest for freedom.

Step 4: Play dress up. The actresses all fit their roles nicely, gorgeous and psychosexually charged, all equipped with weapons of choice (Baby Doll loves her some samurai sword). In Baby Doll’s fantasy, they are a small band of expert mercenaries, easily handling the slo-mo Matrix-esque, acrobatic moves as they take down a series of otherworldly armies, from walking dead Germans, to Lord of the Rings-like creatures to robots. Browning is particularly fetching with her blonde pig tails and false eyelashes, and while it’s hard to tell if she has any acting chops from this performance, she does wield said sword with aplomb. Malone and Cornish probably have the most emotional scenes as the two sisters, and they are capable actresses, while Gugino also makes the most of her 15 minutes on screen. All the men are appropriately grotesque — except for Jon Hamm, who comes in at the last minute as the High Roller.

Step 5: Don’t think about it too hard. The wonderfully fantastical elements of Sucker Punch far outweigh any of the film’s faults. Director Zack Snyder, who gave us 300 and Watchmen, solidifies his signature stamp on filmmaking — the overly stylized action against the canvased backdrop of greys and blacks splashed with vibrant colors, turning scenes into near works of art. Now, while some feel he hasn’t ever really surpassed 300, I think Synder continues to be a intriguing visionary. I like the chances he takes, even if he fails to engage the audience every time. Sucker Punch is not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure, but it is endlessly fascinating and highly inventive — and well worth a look-see if you want some ultra-cool action.

Reviews

How to Watch: “Battle: Los Angeles”

Step 1: Battle: Los Angeles is only a mediocre addition to the alien invasion genre.

Step 2: Poor L.A. It’s always getting beaten up either by weather anomalies (Day After Tomorrow), giant meteors (Deep Impact), the Mayan doomsday calendar (2012) – and yes, many alien invasions staking their claim on the City of Angels. Maybe L.A. is always a target in disaster films because, well, this is where films are made, so there’s an affinity. Now count Battle: Los Angeles as one of them.

Step 3: Typical wartime scenario. You know, I was a little disappointed there was never a shot of surfers in the water watching the spaceships drop from the sky into the ocean, like in the poster. Instead, the film starts off introducing a bunch of U.S. Marines who will go on to save the day. There’s SSgt. Michael Nantz (Aaron Eckhart) who has seen some hard combat in his 20 years and is ready to retire. There’s 2nd Lt. William Martinez (Ramon Rodriguez) who is expecting a baby, has just graduated from officer training and is ready to lead a team. There’s also your garden variety of stereotypical soldiers from the innocent newbie who might as well be wearing a red shirt to the bitter corporal who has it in for Nantz to the kick-ass chick soldier, who is, of course, played by Michelle Rodriguez.

Step 4: Here they come. The TV is blaring reports that a cluster of “meteors” are headed to Earth and that people on the coastline should evacuate. Then as they seemingly crash into the ocean, it’s becomes very clear, very quickly these ain’t no meteors but rather an alien force, intent on taking over our planet by using our water to fuel their machines. Nantz, Martinez and the rest of the unit are sent in, behind the enemy lines, to rescue some civilians caught there — and the film is off and running as the Marines encounter the “hostiles” and try to figure out the best way to kill them while making it back to safety.

Step 5: Find the star. Most of the actors are somewhat recognizable but instantly forgettable, except for Eckhart, who has the biggest profile. He growls a lot and says things like, “Don’t you give up on me! We are going to make it!” You know, the typical war mumbo jumbo. Michael Pena and Bridget Moynahan play the civilians, trapped with kids in their care so there’s THAT element to it as well. Seriously, every banal war/disaster trick in the book is at play in Battle: Los Angeles.

Step 6: The real draw is the action, not the actors. Helmed by Jonathan Liebesman, whose only other claim to fame is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, the camera takes on that documentary, Black Hawk Down quality, shaky as the soldiers run in and out of buildings and houses. There are a few intense and worthy action sequences, I will give you that, particularly one on a demolished freeway ramp. And the aliens are sort of a cross between the ones in Independence Day and Predator, making weird sounds so you know they are coming. But ultimately, Battle: Los Angeles just doesn’t offer anything fresh or inventive in this nearly saturated genre. In fact, it made me want to see District 9 again.

Reviews

How to Watch: “Red Riding Hood”

Step 1: How do you take a short fairy tale warning kids not to talk to strangers and stretch it into a feature film? In Red Riding Hood‘s case, not very successfully.

Step 2: Start with a red cloak. All the classic elements are in there: the girl, the red cloak, the woods, the grandmother – and of course, the wolf. Yet this time the wolf is a werewolf who terrorizes a small medieval village, nestled deep in the woods, and the girl, Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) is considerably older. In fact, she’s a beautiful young lady who is in love with a woodcutter named Peter (Shiloh Fernandez) but has been promised to the town’s richest eligible bachelor, Henry (Max Irons), by her mother (Virginia Madsen), who wants a better life for her. Val’s dad (Billy Burke) is a woodcutter, too, and an alcoholic, so the mom has her reasons, obviously. Valerie and Peter aren’t too happy about it and plan to run off – when tragedy strikes [cue ominous music].

Step 3: Veer off the path. You see, the town has an uneasy truce with this werewolf, offering small animals to the beast when the moon is full so he won’t kill anyone in the town. But when Valerie’s sister is found slashed apart, all bets are seemingly off – as are Valerie and Peter’s plans. The local minister (Lucas Haas) decides its time to bring in the big guns and calls for Father Solomon (Gary Oldman), a known werewolf hunter. When Solomon arrives, he informs the town that this wolf takes human form during its off times – and that it most likely lives among them as they speak. Gasp!

Step 4: Get lost in the woods. Then the story becomes a sort of whodunit, mixed with the love triangle between Val, Peter and Henry. Up to a certain point, you have to stick it out because you want to find out who is the big, bad wolf, but Red Riding Hood does drag on. It’s not really the actors fault; they are just not given much to do. I mean, you couldn’t get a better Red Riding Hood than Seyfried, whose naturally big, expressive eyes do the trick in most of her scenes. The boys Fernandez and Irons (who is the son of British actors Jeremy Irons and Sinead Cusack) are eye candy as well, newcomers to the big screen who should find some luck there. But for the older actors, there are many wasted opportunities. Oldman seems bored, playing Solomon as a cross between Van Helsing and Vincent Price, while Julie Christie makes brief appearances as the kooky, new-agey Grandmother, handing out words of wisdom, and then fading away.

Step 5: Better to make it rated R. Although Red Riding Hood could have benefited with an R-rating, you can’t fault the look of the film, either. Those props go to director Catherine Hardwicke, who has learned a few things since directing Twilight – but maybe not quite enough. While the script is ultimately the film’s downfall, Hardwicke also has a problem with pacing. She taps into her young lovers’ yearnings, but some scenes go on and on, especially the weird celebratory scene in which the whole town is dancing drunkenly in the streets after they think they killed the wolf. Like I said, if the film had an R rating was able to escalate the sex and violence, this could be an entirely different review. But I guess, in order to keep the younger audiences, Little Red Riding Hood can’t really be, er, devoured.

Reviews

How to Watch: “Beastly”

Step 1: Don’t mess with a classic. Beastly should be considered a romantic flick by the tweener set but fails as a modern-day take on the classic Beauty and the Beast tale.

Step 2: Stick to the facts. As the story goes, there’s a vain prince who thinks of no one else but himself, so a witch curses him, turning him into a beast and giving him one year to find a girl to love him, not for his looks but for what’s inside. In Beastly, the prince is a modern-day high school stud named Kyle (Alex Pettyfer), who basically rules the roost by proclaiming his hotness and preaching that attractive people are the only ones who can win. He doesn’t come by this philosophy unnaturally since his news anchor, distant father (Peter Krause) has been telling him that since he was a little tyke. And when Kyle ticks off the wrong person — Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen), the emo chick at school who’s really a witch — she hexes Kyle, gives him some serious facial scars and tattoos and sends him on his way to find love from the inside.

Step 3: Suspend your disbelief. Here comes the part that’s really hard to believe. After her drug-dealing father puts her in danger, Kyle manages to work out a deal to protect Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens), a girl he briefly met before he became hideous boy. At first, all Lindy knows is she’s being forced to live with a weird guy named Hunter, his Jamaican housekeeper (Lisa Gay Hamilton) and the blind tutor (Neil Patrick Harris). But Kyle sees a possible chance at redemption — and love — with Lindy, and soon she warms up to Kyle, teaching him how to be a good person without the good looks.

Step 4: Don’t stereotype. Pettyfer, who is also starring in I Am Number Four, doesn’t have much depth as the tortured Kyle, but he performs as best he can, while Hudgens mostly gets to stand around and look beautiful. Hamilton is sort of eye-rolling stereotypical as the wise Jamaican, as is Krause as the ultra-vain dad, which is too bad since the Parenthood actor can be so good. Olsen as the witch was a fascinating choice, and she plays it to the hilt, getting to wear all kinds of crazy wigs and fabulous costumes. Kudos to her for pulling it off. And thank god for Harris, who steals every scene he is in and adds all the right kinds of comedy in a movie he really has absolutely no business being in.

Step 5: Remember, beauty is on the inside. I do admit Pettyfer and Hudgens are pretty eye candy, and if I were 11-years-old (as is my daughter, who saw the movie with me), I might get swept up into the romance of it all. The story doesn’t really have to make sense in order for you to be an adolescent swooning at the young leads. So for that reason, Beastly follows the Twilight pattern and succeeds in drawing in that same audience. I also remember the TV series Beauty and the Beast, which was also terribly romantic but didn’t make a whole lot of sense either in its modern-day milieu. Yeah, without a castle, singing teapots, clocks and candlesticks, it just isn’t the same, is it?