How Miley Cyrus Sings a New “Song”

hannah_montana_the_movie31What? Miley Cyrus is finally doing a movie in which she plays someone other than Hannah Montana? Yes indeed – and I bet she thinks it’s about time, too. The good old country girl is starring in The Last Song, a big-screen adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel. The same Nicholas Sparks who wrote The Notebook and Nights in Rodanthe, so you know there’s gonna be some sap.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Miley plays a rebellious teen forced to spend the summer with her wayward father (Greg Kinnear), who left years earlier and is also a former Julliard professor and concert pianist. I think I’m getting the picture on how the songs will come in. Kelly Preston plays the mom, and Liam Hemsworth (Knowing) is Miley’s love interest. Aw, she’s growing up – but I highly doubt she’ll be having sex up against a wall like in The Notebook.

bride_of_frankensteinSpeaking of sex against a wall, they are going to redo The Bride of Frankenstein again. Just imagine the 1935 originals Elsa Lancaster and Boris Karloff doin’ it – or not. [Pause] Yeah, not. Anyway, the Reporter‘s Risky Biz Blog reports that Universal is teaming with Imagine to give it another shot and erase the memory of the other really bad 1985 remake The Bride, starring Jennifer Beals and Sting. Talks are in progress for director Neil Burger (The Illusionist) to take the helm, but at some point someone should really ask the question: Is this entirely necessary?

Leonardo DiCaprio’s next project involves him delving into the exciting, exotic and dangerous world of … wait for it … online poker. Huh? Who in their right mind thinks this will make a good movie? Paramount took the pitch from writers Brian Koppelman and David Levien – the same guys who also gave us Rounders, a film in which Edward Norton and Matt Damon played high-stakes players in the underground poker scene. I have a feeling Brian and David have a not-so teeny-weeny problem.