How to Cast: Jessica Alba

Jessica_Alba_attends_24927tAs a Focker, of course. The lovely Ms. Jessica is in negotiations to play a hottie in the upcoming tri-quel Little Fockers. Big stretch, I know. According to the Hollywood Reporter, she’s in line to play a comely pharmaceutical rep who messes with the males in the film, including Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro. The film picks up where 2004’s Meet the Fockers left off, with Stiller’s Gaylord Focker and Teri Polo’s Pamela Byrnes becoming parents. And Jessica Alba seducing and giving them drugs. I guess.

In other movie news: As if Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t have enough to do. Variety reports, he’s signed up for yet another project, The Deep Blue Goodbye, an adaptation of the John D. MacDonald mystery novel series. DiCaprio plays Travis McGee, a self-described beach bum, who lives aboard the 52-foot houseboat called The Busted Flush in sun-drenched Florida and makes a living as a “salvage consultant” –  i.e. recovering property for clients and raking them for a ton of cash. Plus, he gets into a lot of danger and has flings with beautiful women. OK, I get why DiCaprio would want to do this; he looks good with a tan.

Hugh Jackman may be stepping into the ring – but not necessarily to fight. He’s in talks to star in Real Steel, and this is the synopsis, according to Variety: “Pic is a Rocky-esque tale of a fighter who has to reinvent himself when human boxing becomes obsolete, replaced by 2000 pound human-like robots. An ex-fighter (Jackman) becomes a Robot Boxing promoter whose chances of success are hampered by his access to sub-standard robot parts. That is until he discovers a discarded robot that always seems to win. The ex-fighter has also discovered he’s the father of a 13-year old son, and they bond as the robot brawls its way toward the top.” Clearly, they are being serious about that synopsis. I’m sitting here, incredulous, with my mouth open.

And finally, a little werewolf love. What, you don’t think vampires have the market on supernatural teen  romance, do you? Maggie Stiefvater’s new novel Shiver has been optioned for a film and is a story about a “bittersweet paranormal romance” between a young girl and her teen werewolf boyfriend. She was saved by him from a pack of wolves as a child and now, as teens, they are in love – except he’s maturing into full wolfhood, and she’s desperate to keep him human. I’m getting tired of vampires and werewolves. We need to find a NEW supernatural entity for teen girls to make romance with. A hunky centaur, perhaps?