How to Fatten Up Renee Zellweger

jones_narrowweb__300x338,0By doing another Bridget Jones movie. A third installment is rumored to be in the works, Variety reports, and will probably focus on the now 40-ish Bridget’s attempt to get pregnant before its too late — at least if it follows Helen Fielding’s popular column/books. I’m just hoping Renee wants to keep just a wee bit of that weight after shooting is over because she’s looks good with meat on her bones. But I’m not holding my breath.

In other casting news: Cate Blanchett will play an English aristocrat in Indian Summer, based on the book of the same name by Alex von Tunzelmann, about the last days of Britain’s colonial rule of India in 1947. This just reminds me of a bit comedian Eddie Izzard did in his 1999 stand-up show Dressed to Kill: He makes fun of countries talking over other countries just because they have flags, specifically when the British declare India a colony. While the outraged Indians balk, Izzard, as a snooty Brit, asks, “Do you have a flag?…No flag, no country! Can’t have one!” I found the clip on YouTube:

When will this child slow down? Besides doing the Nicolas Sparks’ adaptation The Last Song, Miley Cyrus is also set to do Wings, based on the bestselling book by Aprilynne Pike. And get this: It’s about fairies. Yep, Miley will play a 15-year-old girl who, after being home-schooled, goes to a big high school and realizes she really doesn’t fit in when she sprouts a pair of wings and discovers she’s a fairy. I really like fairies – and sort of half believe in them – so I hope this isn’t going to ruin it for me.

And finally, Hugh Jackman has decided to sell cosmetics. He’s set to star in Avon Man, Variety reports, a comedy about an unemployed car salesman who has to resort to selling Avon products but finds it’s not as bad as it looks. He is soon very successful at it and decides to recruit his other unemployed buddies so they can win some big contest and save their small town. Oy. I suppose it’s a sign of the times.