How to Cast: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAINShove him in a tricked-out submarine and call him Captain Nemo.

It seems Mr. Johnson has not only become the Mouse House’s go-to guy for family comedies about football players in ballet tutus, but he’s also their pick for actioner remakes. According to Cinematical, Johnson is in talks to helm the Nautilus for director McG’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea redo. There’s some symmetry to that, since Johnson made Disney more than a few cool millions on Race to Witch Mountain. But seriously, can The Rock really be all mysterious and moody like James Mason was as Nemo in the 1954 original? Or will this Nemo just kick ass in some way, while looking all buff in those nifty turtleneck sweaters? I’m sort of leaning towards the latter.

UPDATE 5/6: Apparently, the Johnson as Nemo casting was just a rumor; Cinematical reports it ain’t happening, at least according to McG who claims he hasn’t even talked with The Rock about it. OK, that makes me breathe a little easier. I just couldn’t see it.

In other casting news: Jim Carrey might channel his inner beaver – in the form of a hand puppet. Oh, those South Park guys only WISH they could have thought of this one first. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the funny guy is in talks to play a fellow who has a special relationship with a beaver puppet he wears on his arm. So much better than Mr. Hand.

Perhaps tired of pretending he has a metal endoskeleton, Hugh Jackman has signed to star in Ghostopolis, in which he chases away ghosts. Way to switch it up there, Hugh. Based on a graphic novel (what ISN’T these days?), Hollywood Reporter says the story is about a dude working for the “Supernatural Immigration Task Force” or SITF, we’ll call it, whose job it is to send spectral beings roaming our world back to theirs. But when a living boy is mistakenly sent to Ghostopolis, Jackman has to go rescue him with the help of his former flame, now a ghost. I guess she dies somehow.